thx... sorie.....

hm.. wad wld u do if u know someone is hm... trying to get close to you? flirt back? ignore? hinting tat u cant accept the feeling???

well... it was a very weird day... i was chatting and suddenly the conversation goes toward that direction... it was kinda funny coz we r not rili said to be close to each other.. u know wad i mean? well somehow i didnt know tat it was going to that direction.. when he said he wanted my help, i sincerely wanted to help.. when he told me his stories i listened and laughed at it.. when he's got fans, i adviced him O_o... u know.. itz like we're frenz... but it was alrite right? coz we ended up, rili clearly, being frenz ^_^ well... i tot tat was fine... then there's a confession tatz rili straight to the point...

aaaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhh tell me!!! am I really that flirty tat i sent out wrong signals? or am I too conservative that I dun TRY relationships when I dun feel that special feeling? im confused... how does people go steady with one person? wadz the foundation? is feeling towards frens enough?? i duno...

my fren asked y i dun want to try the relationship.. n my answer was 'i dowan to hurt them' but she was laughing to my face, saying tat by rejecting them is already hurting them... geez.. wad i mean is i dun want to hurt them in the sense.. IF i do get steady with them, i tot they'd be more hurt even further at the later date, when the feeling is juz aint developed... then they'd be happy for a while for nothing.... tatz wad i was tinking...

aiz... i hate to say all those rejective words... it feels like im being so darn too cold... i could somehow picture the face... coz THAT one face flashed to my mind like he was really in front of me...... crying... n it really made me lost my speech altogether... then... does it mean i'd juz hav to try the relationships??

one guy asked me when do i plan to get married.... i guess i HAVE to get married b4 i reach 27.. well.. letz count.. im gona be 22 this year end... n im still boyfren-lesssss... does 5 years enuff for me to get a guy, know him better, and get married? hey... even an 8.5 years relationship could break up juz like THAT..... does 5 years enuff of a foundation? furthermore, when im faced with exams, i hardly think of any relationships... does that mean i gota find a guy WHEN i graduate??
geez.... my mum has stopped toking about tat guy.. now she moved on to kue garing O_O!!! asking whether he still buy stuff..... hahaa... i guess she really want me to get a bf, eh? but WHY??? if i got a bf, i'd spend more time wif him... aint she happy tat now im free? tat i could go back each holidae? imagine i got a singaporean guy... i wud spend less time holidaying in indo, rite? for prove : lyvi.... oOpZ.. hehe then if i got a non-bandung bf... tho im in indo, i'd want to visit him, rite? wil she allow me to go???

some things are juz contradicting.................. well... i juz wanna say to the relevant people... im sorrie im sorie im sorie... if u find it hard to be my fren or u want some time off.... do it... i dun mind it... i wld rather u forget about this, and forget me for a while.. n then come back to be my frenz............... somehow i know tat itz killing u when u r talking to me.... soo yea... :) juz think about urself.. dun tink about me for the time being ^_^ im happy tat these people are alwiz good guys... n at the same time, im devastated coz... yea... ANOTHER good guy gota be turned down... itz juz argh!!! people will say 'u ungrateful idiot!'.......... geez..... i hope u guys dun tink tat way... er... haha.... well.... guess i gota say... *cheerrz* ??