April 14, 2006

good friday! ^_^

This is the day when christian faith is accomplished.. It's the day Jesus was crucified to make peace with God almighty.. and hence.. we, sinners are washed and redeemed...

imagine his agony.. *i went to BB service this morning.. n while the preacher said the words.. imagine when he was caught.. insulted.. hit.. nailed and the cross was made to stand up.....* i could NOT feel the pain.. but i could imagine that it must be REALLY REALLY unbearable tat if it were me... i wld hv chosen a faster death and before i breathe my last breath i would be cursing them like mad....

but He did not... he even said 'FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY DONT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING...'.. He could forgive pple who has been so bad to Him.. y i cant?? trying.. struggling.. to forgive someone... BUT I CANT!!!!! well pple said there's nothing impossible for God.. only I have the power to let God make me forgive that person... but i dun want.. i gota admit.. really... hard to forgive that person lagh..... haiz...

good friday... a day to remember His agony and love... He loved me so much.. why am I so 'ga tao diri'....... actually if i could bargain, i'd keep this one sin of not forgiving this person... but CANNOT!!!! Cant bargain with God.. He hates sin so much.. but how how how how how how how how how how how how?????????? part of me is afraid that if i forgive that person.. my future wld be fixed with that person.. which i DONT WANT!!!!

can u see? now i dun like tat person.. i have REASONS not to be with that person, rite? if i have forgiven?? NO EXCUSE not to be with tat person wad... n so far as that person is concerned........ i think i roughly know wad will hapen.. so.. im in a big big big dilemma... O_o'

last week when i attended BB service, the preacher said about God who is without sin, HATES sin... the example he used was someone who has phobia.. example? cocroach... I HATE kecoa O_o'!

THEN he said that if someone PURPOSELY 'nempelin' (pasting/give) kecoa to you..? I CAN IMAGINE THAT.. O_o'! that person would not live to see another daylight!! but God forgives that person.. and yet.. that person again n again paste cockroaches on him... n yet.. he still forgive... feel the pang? i did..... i still do... n THIS is y i must get rid of that hatred in my heart.... 'tho somehow i still dun want to let it go... O_o"!

stupid as it sounds, im quite WORIED of the consequence in the future of wad will hapen to me n tat person O_o'!

posted by nataLia at 10:54 am

1 Comments:

  • forgiveness need not be mentioned or announced. forgive him in ur heart, cleanse urself by letting the matter go or watever it is, go. at least no hard feelings.

    u dont have to let everyone know or that person noe that you've forgiven him and blah blah... but forgive him in ur heart, but of cos if so happen u guys meet, then just act normal, dont have to have the hate look or resentment. its hard initially, but letting it go will make u feel better. u know that its one sin down.

    imagine becos of this person's deed, u cant enter the Kingdom of God. is it worth it? is he that hateful to the point that u wud rather stay a sinner. wat makes God great is that He Love us all, sinners, to the point to dying for us. is it so great that u love someone who already love u? no. is it very great that u help someone whom u know will defintely help u back? no. but it is when we can exercise forgiveness that makes us great. it is to be able to love thy enemy that makes one great. it is when u help people without expecting rewards that makes u a greater person!

    confess and let God know that you've forgiven that person. and i think most importantly, ask Him for peace in ur heart so that whenever that person is mentioned, u wont feel any resentment.

    im sure forgiveness lead to better things and a new level of maturity and not consequences that will make u awkward or anything like that.

    why not thing of forgiving first rather than thinking wat wud happen after that. just tell the truth if anything shud happen, but do not hate. dont make God redeem u in vain. =)

    i know its easier said than done, but im sure if u ask God to lend u His strength and wisdom, u wud be able to do it. When u cant find strength and heart to forgive, ask God to lend his healing touch to heal all ur wounds in ur heart and to teach u how to forgive. but of cos, u must be ready too. im sure u r not that silly to choose to keep on holding onto this sin, right. light that darkness in ur heart with God's lamp. get rid of that evil thot and feelings out and u will find urself a new peace within u.

    that's wat i ever experienced and it was wonderful.

    By Blogger cmanling, at  1:30 am  

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