helpless...

Im at it again... im feeling so helpless.. Ur fren is in so much trouble... but u just cant help to solve it because YOU are the problem?

That's bad enough.. but knowing that you cause sooo much harm that ur fren felt like 'going away' from this world? *shudder*!! that u ALMOST ruined one's life... no.. if it werent for God, my fren would be GONE by now (I DIDNT even realise that!!!) or maybe i still have the power to ruin that life now too...? knowing that u r both life and death of one person is just.. darn scary!!

Well.. its kinda miserable feeling im having these two days that I dont know what to do.. helpless.... I did try to er.. cushion the effect of the blast.. but yea.. a blast is a blast.... nothing could conceal it.. people says "talk it out.." right.. as easy it may sound.. its weird.. n hard, okay!!! i hope it does smooth some things out.. but as I said.. nothing could cushion that blast.. haiz..

I believe one of my friend is in the same miserable state as myself as the same thing happened to him recently (not sure how it really goes, tho..).. i dont know if his situation is the same as mine... but wadever it is.. I hope things are better between them... n i hope this fren of mine recovers fast too...

if only qkho is a psychologist... i dont mind being her first patient T.T im seriously kinda blur about all these things that's happening so fast.... so sudden and yea.. unexepected blow to my head.. my mind.. n my consciousness... its kinda haunting my dreams that uve done seriously bad things n that things wld never be the same again?.. IT SUX!! BIG TIME....!