Counting down...

Ive been counting down to next monday.. But each time, I always get the jittery feelings about that day 1 week from now...

2 more days (less than 2 days actually) to my final exam... i still havnt touched past year paper n tutorial.. how smart i am O_o'

The lect notes for DS was super thick O_o previously, in school, we were saying that we have 9 days.. (from monday).. 3 days to study the lect notes, 3 days to work on tut n past year papers, n 3 days to review... but well... reality spoke otherwise.... O_o' 1 day to review n *tomorrow* gona push as much as i could from tut n past year... brr... how time flies O_o'

Im really in that 'melancholic' mood, i think... looking at the past 4 years.. it's gone by sooo fast that i almost didnt notice it come and go... *sigh... anyway..

Next monday, i'll be facing 2 enemies in my life... well.. maybe its too rude to call it 'enemy'.. but i do need to tackle them.. or impress them.. or being eaten alive and humiliated by them... namely.. examiner and supervisor... sobz... need to convince them to give me a decent grade for my fyp, which, im still quite not confident about it :(

Other people have been saying that their fyp also 'sux' but how 'sux' is 'sux'? isnt everything depend on 'smoking ability' or 'examiner's & supervisor's mercy'? geez.. im just sooooo unprepared to end everything this soon T.T

Anyway... quoting my sis' blog:

"

Tuhan selalu bilang supaya kita belajar dari anak kecil.. Alasannya, sejauh ini sih yang saya tau karena anak-anak kecil itu punya hati yang lembut, punya kepolosan (gak curigaan), sehingga Tuhan mudah untuk masuk dan berkarya dalam hidup mereka..

"

and



"

Sekali lagi harus inget.. Jangan jalan semau kita, dan jangan coba-coba ‘ngatur Tuhan’. Ngatur Tuhan di sini adalah dengan cara gak mau dengerin Tuhan dan malah nonjolin ide-ide kita sendiri. Sori, Tuhan punya rencanaNya sendiri

"

Jangan curigaan d ama 2 orang yg bakalan gw hadapin minggu depan..... wad can I do? but to prepare well, and pray well... n let Him do the rest, right? after all, He is higher and more powerful than ANYONE else... or Eniting (my fear.. my anxiety.. my problems) else... =]

Eniweiz.. ive been 'missing' from the IEC church for 3 weeks now =p n week upon week, there'll be someone who sms me n asked wad am i doing.. how am i doing.. n invited me back to the church... i find it kinda 'troublesome' at first.. coz ive not been 'visible' in church for the past years... but somehow, i feel that they care for me.. and i think this is God's way of snatching me back from the 'kelelawar' XD

"

Seorang hamba Tuhan bilang kalau Roh yang berkeliaran di tahun ini bentuknya seperti kalelawar. Kalelawar adalah binatang yang makannya makan BUAH, bukan daun hehe.. (orang Sunda yang makan daun mah…). So, iblis lagi ngincer anak-anak Tuhan yang sudah BERBUAH.. mereka yang uda berbuah (pertobatan, buah roh, dan pelayanan) , pelayanan, dipake Tuhan, harus EKSTRA hati-hati.. Banyak kalelawar mengincar…. hehehehe…

"

From the starting of the year, ive been quite 'settling' down with the church and started to get into 'fellowship' with others in the sense that i really TALK to them... unlike the hi-bye thing.... i even committed myself being in ministry with them... I asked God to make me committed... n maybe i have JUST started to want to be a part of the ministry more.. n then... i started being too scared too depressed with exams and all... that i start to 'ngatur sendiri'... i said 'God.. sorry... but i think i have to study this week... next week ill go to worship u, okay?'... expectedly, i missed... n this time i said 'God.. ill worship from home... really..' and then the next week? 'God, can i worship u from home again?'........ man O_o'

I must say im still lucky enough to have people calling me back to church isnt it??

i wanted to 'bernazar' but after wad i read from my sis' blog =p huehuee... takud XD So ya.. ga jadi bernazar d =p haha... biarin aja apa yg Tuhan mau lakuin to my last sem (sebenernya TAKUT jg.. sapa tao Tuhan mau 'punish' for all ive done these years.... tapi 'soothed' karena lagu "Trust His Heart")......

N to add to my 'confidence ', yesterday, rev david burke's prayer was 'God, teach us not to count our days.. but count our blessings...'.. true.. count blessings!! not count DOWN..... count my many many blessings... come on!! starting from THIS MOMENT.... yooohoooo nata back to study.. ciaoz!!!