Shalom!!!!!

gd morning all!! surprised tat im already writing blog at this hour? hehe..... well... i woke up due to a terrible nightmare... geez... was already fully awake at 5.30... but the stubborn me refused to get up... O_o' n thus... a FORCED sleep causes nightmare.. aiz....

well... the nightmare is kinda 'reminder' to me... the dream was something like me n my cousins, bro n sis were chatting in MY house... yea palm gardens! n we saw this big typhoon coming over somewhere out there in singapore... n we all did our 'panicking'.. my cousins left to meet their parents (in town) n my dad, called me thru hp to say tat he's still okay... n i forced him to say that we'll meet again... (geez this part is v v v scary..... i could HEAR n FEEL his voice as tho it were for real... his voice were sadder than when he sent me to airport the first time i came to singapore.. aiz... v v v v v v v v sad..) my sis n bro WATCHING tv while me, packing my passport O_o' then... my youngest aunt were told, and we were ready to leave (waiting for the lift) and we heard someone COOKING in the kitchen.. it was my granma n my oldest aunt... didnt want to alarm them, we juz told them we gota leave... in the end I was alone waiting for them whom took sooo long to come out of the room... while thru the windows.. i saw the tsunami looming nearer.......... nearerr....... n i woke up.....

my heart was beating darn fast! really! itz been a longgg time since i hav nightmares.. i mean i dun usually feel scared or shocked by nightmares.. but this one.... *....shudder....* i went out of the room and wadever marlin was saying were not heard O_o' as i recall the dream again.... it AGAIN shows ME how UNPREPARED I am in this kind of situation.... i mean it was portrayed tat i was talking to my dad, packing my passport to ESCAPE singapore with them.... while my bro n sis WATCHING TV? o_O' u know... like they dun feel any fear... while I was soo fearful... *sigh*... i duno... well... itz been in my prayers tat God gives me readiness and peace... but yea.... haiz... duno O_o'

ok2.. move on to something i got from my QT....... i was reading from psalm 46 verse 2 :
God is our refuge and strength Allah itu bagi kita tempat perlindungan dan kekuatan
an ever-present help in trouble. Sebagai penolong dalam kesesakan sangat terbukti
Therefore we will not fear, Sebab itu kita tidak akan takut,
though the earth give way Sekalipun bumi berubah
and the mounatins fall into the heart of the sea, Sekalipun gunung gunung goncang dalam laut;
though its waters roar and foam Sekalipun ribut dan berbuih airnya
and the mountains quake with their surging. Sekalipun gunung2 goyang oleh geloranya
Selah
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High Dwells
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar,
kingdoms will fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts. Ia memperdengarkan suaraNya dan bumi pun hancur

verse 8:
Come and see the works of the Lord,
the desoations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
He burns the shields with fire

Be still and know that I am God,
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth...

does it ring a bell? wad about the last tsunami? it happened that the mountain quaked underwater.... n wad about nations are in uproar?? isnt IT wad we're reading from newspaper and listen from the news? well they're not in WAR yet... but uproar.... kingdoms fall........... geez.........

hehe ive been reading bi-language of bibles...' haha.. becoz.. my daily bread book (itz called daily bread not reflection? wadever... my RENUNGAN HARIAN) is in indo and they hav verses in indoz.. so i was reading indo-version of bible..... well the book of psalm was written by poets... so u know.. the words are kinda in rhyme.. and u have to interpret... n i didnt understand some of the things they said in indoz.. like 'memalingkan wajah' i tot itz to 'turn away' when itz actually to 'look up to you...' hehe... misundeztanding wld give different outcomes leeee hahaa....

hm... yesterday went to BB again... sbass said the night before that the preacher had juz come back from Nias island (the one with a 8.2rtch earthquake..) n he's 'shuai' huehuehue eniwei i went there to listen to his sermon.... n itz fully 'nancep2' (borrowing sbass' word)... means stabbing through our heart... it was on Jehovah Shalom, means the Lord is peace... for us, peace might not present in this chaotic world with loadza natural disasters, uncertainty, crimes etc... but SHALOM has loaddza meaning..... :)
taken from NUMBERS 6 :24-26, God gives 3 ultimate promises to us...
the Lord will bless and keep you <-- we HAV to be fearful of God and submit to Him.. His keeping is whole... physically n spiritually..
the Lord make his face shine upon u n be gracious unto u... <--- itz God and God alone who would MAKE his face shine upon us and be gracious unto us... during the old testament days, when people SEE the Lord, it means they'd die... but yet....... He says he woule be gracious unto u... means u wun die though ur sins and weaknesses would be transparent to Him......
the preacher also talks about Gideon... one of Israel's mighty warriors.... *talk about tat at later paragraph*

the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace... <-- ultimate promise, that Peace can only be gotten when relationships between us and Lord is HARMONIZED and God loves us.... :) thus, although we might fall into sin again and again... he'll keep on calling you.....
Yepz.. He's been calling on us!!!!!! me oso me oso me oso!!

ok2.. about Gideon, this guy was chosen to be the leader of Israel's army against the Midians but he was unsure y he was called and at first, he was doubtful that God even remembers Israels' sufferings... God assured him tat HE has called Gideon and He would help Gideon to fight.... Once Gideon finds out tat itz really God who is speaking to him, he thought he's going to die... but the Lord says 'PEACE! Do not be afraid.. You are not going to die..' see? He gave Gideon peace, AND do not let Gideon perish..... later at the story, Gideon was still unsure and asked for few signs.... once he was sure, he led Israel's army and won battles....!!

on this story, the preacher said something about christians going to church everyweek juz to hear sermon tat brings KINDA peace into the soul.... n said that ANY relationships with motives behind it would not turn out good.....
hey tatz me.... i feel that sermons really brings peace (tho most of the time slapping me hard..) and also with hope that sermons would last in my heart for at least a week TILL i hear another sermons....
He also said that Christians like 'good sermons' like assurance, peace, blablabla... but hates things that dig too deep inside of ur soul....
haha.. i dun need something too deep inside, i'd feel the slap oredi... O_o'

eniwei... from the Gideon's story.. some things are vague to me.... WHY God doesnt want us to think we're not worthy/? in fact we AREEEE not worthy of Him... I know that God wants us to juz be ready when He calls.. coz He would bring you peace and assurance for our lives.... RIGHT... but isnt it in our nature to think u r not up to it?

like someone ask u to be the ambassador of ur country.. u'd feel WOW... but somehow definitely somewhere inside ur soul u'll tink.. 'am i the right choice? wad if i fail?'
also, why God is not angry when Gideon 'tested' him with that leaves and dew for 2 consecutive days.. while He was so angry at Moses for not trusting that He'd be with him?? i mean Moses was juz say tat he is not good in speaking.. blablabla (feeling unworthy oso) but why is God so angry at Moses but WAITED patiently for Gideon and gave any signs tat Gideon wants?
hehe... coz Im like Gideon u see.... waiting for signs.... haiz... O_o'