a thought.....

sory.. i JUZ feel like writing this down... i hav a very very good fren, alwiz feel like she's my soul mate... we've known each other for alongggg time.... from mischiev, quarrels, serious talks, joking around, hanging out, even more than u think we talk about..... she's kinda wild, alwiz wanna try new things, she has wings and cant be tied down.... but somehow she retain her stance, and never goes overboard... however, parents,... being parents.... are usually paranoids..... n it was so happen that this fren of mine uses too much parent's money, and dun feel like going back to indo too soon.. i mean I oso goes back indo only for my family... none others...!! but my fren has so much fun n friends around her, that she doesnt wan to come back so early or stays in indo for too long coz it'd be too boring (as what i feel)... but her parents, maybe missing her too much and wanted her to come back faster, or for other reason, think the worse of her... that she takes drugs or something.... n she was made stupefied by the none-too-gentle- words from her dad.....

the way she told me was like 'its usuall... my dad alwiz does that' but somehow i feel that she's so disappointed at her dad, maybe disappointed at herself, and thus, makes me think that she's vulnerable but yet, dun wanna surrender to her parents as she knows what awaits in indo is much more worse n unpredictable..... my heart sincerely goes to her.... i wish i could write all her miseries in this blog... but, tho' i duno wther she told me the whole truth, i know i gota keep the secrets... i'll juz say that ive known her long enough to know that she's such a happy carefree girl that alwiz smile or laugh... really.. i alwiz get unexpected news from her of her full-of-ups-downs life... sometimes it makes me look up to her n admire her, sometimes i wanna knock her out of her senses, sometimes i juz simply wanna hug her..... but what can i do? i can only support her n listen to her........... i WANT to do something..... but how?? tell her parents that she's okay? that she's not like what they think she is?? i think her parents gona kill her for telling others about the family affair... i juz hope that no one ... no one! wld ever tk that spirit from her..... she HAS to survive with those...

whatz this life but trouble!! people says our trouble seems to cease after marriage.... my 2nd point, i feel that, after marriage, our responsibility heightens, n our commitment to spouse n children is forever! not even until u dies... itz really forever... havent u ever heard people saying 'she's the daughter of the late mrs. BLAHBLAH... look at her.. she's so.. blahblahblah' maybe even your GRANCHILD REN wun escape these tongue-wagging idiots..

furthermore, marriage as said earlier is a lifetime-long (if not longer) commitment!.. u've got to continually assessed urself wther u r being right, being judgemental, being wise, being fair, being a good mother, being wife, being friend, being daughter, being daughter in law, being a colleague, being soooo many individuals and yet u r one... take for example your own mums or dads.... aint it true that they ALWIZ trying to please everyone else in their surroundings? maybe being a child, you might think ur mum is too oldfashioned or something and when u let it out, u JUZ want to tell her that she's oldfashion... but hu knows that she actually KNOWS she's being old fashioned itz just that she doesnt want to let YOU do something that provides others topics? for my mum's case, shez trying her bez to be good in law... not that she's bad, she juz thinks that she has to prove herself... -_-' stupid, i know... this cost my brother n sister deeply... in terms of meals, my mum only cooks wadever my granma would approve.... not my bro/sis' preferences...... aint life difficult? are u guys thinking about marriage? tell u the truth? ive been tinking of this too! in fact, the day fera came over to my house, we discussed about this...

like hana's essay, itz true that our parents wun let us get married late... latest wld be... erh... 27? i guess for me... yeah... 26-27 -_-' isnt it scary???? ive not even been in any relationship... n yet in few years... few YEARS!! a year seems to breeze through...... few years would arrive right at ur doorstep without u even knowing.... especially when uve got to concentrate with studies n works.............. where's that mr.RIght? n even if i do find him, would love conquer everything like in the movies n novels?? n what if i DUN find him? would my parents force my hand??

part of me think they wun.... but somehow im not so sure..... reflecting about myself, i duno if i could get my fairy-tale ending with that mr.right... but somehow i think that fairy-tale is created so that people would dream... coz there ISNT such a thing as 'and they live happily ever after'.... maybe people think im being paranoid too... writing all these stuff... but hei! im turning 21 in slightly more thatn 24 hours... if i were to be married by 27, ive only little time to find that mr right n get to know him...... marriage, i think is a big super big matter.. itz a holy matrimony where man n his wife is joined by GOd... n thus, shldnt be separated by men.... itz to say that THIS marriage is holy... once and for the rest of ur lifetime.......... it takes lotza combination of courage, passion, commitment, etc.... like PJC says, while i live i learn, to me a marriage should be that way! u learn new things about ur new family each new day... each step you make wld determine ur future................

*sigh* isnt it not surprising if i can choose to just stay young? stay schooling... forever under the wings of parents n families of my own? i do want to have a family of my own... but judging from my ability n personalities and the goal of every household, it seems unreachable...... *sigh....* sleepy liao.... -_-' i alwiz THINK... but never comes to solution :p wel... wad d hell! the main prayer : for that beloved fren of mine.... k? her future is written, and she has to face it... she's much courageous than i am tho she's only a LITTLE younger than me..... :D ok2... everyone... JIAYOU!